This one time in the barracks- Vol. 1
Stories from Barracks 404 by: Steve Sebby
You know the drill. Every barracks story starts with the same line, so let’s get into it.So there we were, drinking in the barracks, early on a Saturday afternoon. (There it is.) The sun was going down over the horizon. Three of us were positioned on our prime real estate on the balcony/hallway of the barracks in front of our rooms, imbibing on our usual nectar of the gods, Coors light. The third floor balcony/hallway boasts a beautiful, full view of the parking lot below, and with it, a great vantage point for people watching.A lot more happens in a barracks parking lot than you would guess, such as screaming arguments between couples, late night hookups on the hood of someone else's car, lots of puking, stumbling to and from cars, and all the arrivals of potentially hilarious scenarios. On this beautiful Saturday, a potentially hilarious scenario arrived and made their way to the barracks stairs.We’ll call this particular Marine, Glen, for the purpose of this story. Glen had a girl with him today. Good for Glen. But, bringing a girl to the barracks in many ways is a terrible experience for said girl, for many reasons. First, if you’ve ever seen those prison movies where “the new guy” steps foot on his cell floor for the first time and must endure all the cat calls and other prisoners trying to scare him with threatening taunts, then you can get an idea of what it’s like for some doe-eyed cutie to be taking a walk of shame to or from a barracks on a Marine Corps base. And trust me, it’s a walk of shame in either direction.
Glen and little “doe-eyes” made their way up to the third floor, where the three of us waited and watched for them (but mostly her) to make their way through the gauntlet of drunk, boner fueled, smooth talkers. They also needed to get by us to get to Glen’s room, but we were simply there to enjoy the show, not add to the experience. We were merely spectators. Of course, we were curious as to who has said yes to the idiotic question “Would you like to come back to base and see my barracks room?” This was a special breed indeed who would agree to such an ill conceived proposition.“Hey guys!” Glen said with a subdued tone. She was a good looking girl. It’s not that he was embarrassed at the quality girl he’s brought back with him, but the quality of the situation that he found himself in. It was just a few more steps to his room, where the awkwardness would certainly melt away. Just a few more steps until they can be themselves again and “watch a movie or whatever.”“Hey you two!” We responded, gleefully in unison.“Who’s your friend?” “Oh this. Uhh… This is Sara.”Doe-eyes whipped her head around to face him, her mouth transforming into a terrifying scowl for only a fraction of a second. She looked back at us, with what could only be described as a disappointed smile.“Hi. My name is Ashley. Nice to meet you.” Glen tried to save it, though. “Ashley!!! Yeah that’s what I meant. I was thinking about…uh…..yeah this is Ashley.”They continued on to Glen’s room, and shut the door before we all burst out in uproarious laughter, which I’m sure they could hear. Then they had sex, but probably after an awkward moment or two. Good for them.Barracks 404 had the best view of the parking lot, but it was like fishing, most nights. Sometimes there wasn’t a bite all night. But, some nights we’d catch a big one. Glen’s debacle certainly wasn’t the biggest fish of them all, but you’ll have to stay tuned for more “Stories from Barracks 404” and if you’ve got a story to share as well, email it to us at email@example.com You could get your story shared in the Grunt Style magazine.[mwi-cat-listing cat="94" ppp="4" cols="4" desc="false" type="view" btn_color="black" ]