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There are a lot of differences between those who have served in the military and those who have not. One thing that unites people from all different walks of life though is our undying love and need for caffeine. Did you know that you can tell everything you need to know about a person not based upon their personality or education or life choices, no. You can learn everything about a person based on their energy drink of choice. Let’s get into it.
Red Bull
Lets be honest, Red Bull is the OG of caffeinating yourself into the next dimension. Now though if you are standing in ye olde gas station with dozens of choices of caffeine delight and you pick a Red bull, we know its a mixer for booze. FYI, Red bull vodka is not going to help give you energy while you drink all night but by all means, enjoy the sugar induced hangover.
Monster
Nothing I type here can explain the almost legendary status of the original green Monster energy drink in the Kyle circles. If I see you driving down the road sipping on a monster, I already know your drywall has fist shaped holes in it and you think Korn is the best band to ever exist. Enjoy your domestic violence charge and your lifted pick up.
Ghost
Ghost is a relatively new face in the world of energy drinks. Birthed from a supplement company and shot to popularity by unique flavors, Ghost has become a favorite among the younger energy drink connoisseur. If you are pounding these you want people to think you work out without all the stress of actually working out.
C4
Another supplement company turned energy drink. C4 differs from Ghost in the fact that people who drink these live in the gym. We get it bro, you work out. "Your warm up is my max." Do you have anything else to talk about other than micros and macros and how cool Jocko is?
White Monster
The sugar free, less violent little brother of the OG Monster. This energy drink is for people that need caffeine and a lot of it day in and day out. You don’t drink just one of these, White Monster is a lifestyle. If this sits precariously on your desk I know you work about 80 hours a week and need a pay raise that is “definitely coming next quarter”.
Coffee
Let's be real here, Coffee, while not technically an “energy drink” is the life blood of most countries. It is the universal symbol of the grumpy, overworked, underpaid, chain smoking miserable human being. Whether it's a black coffee in a paper cup or a quad shot latte with nonfat milk, if you are drinking coffee at 7PM on a Thursday you have bigger problems than what I think about you.
Some honorable mentions include: RIP IT, Tiger Energy, and CELSIUS. If you prefer any of these, you might need therapy.
