Soldiers Destroy JLTV

The soldiers who were lucky enough to get the JLTV or the Joint Light Tactical Vehicle have wrecked it after only four days. The JLTV is meant to replace the Humvee as the primary utility vehicle for the United States armed forces. The Army, as always gets all the new tech first and subsequently is the branch that usually makes history with new equipment.That all being said, the Marine Corps has issued a statement after hearing of the accident stating that they could break the new JLTV much faster."Four days? Hell, they must have been taking it easy," said Director of Procurement for the United States Marine Corps Major General Ralph W.R. Eckitt.Major General Eckitt went on to exclaim proudly, "I personally know of one Lance Corporal who would have rolled that JLTV in less than 15 seconds!" The United States Army and the United States Marine Corps have a proud history of one-upping each other, especially in the infantry fields. The rivalry has never been settled and even when the Marine Corps gets the JLTV, the Army will claim that they had time to study how their driver flipped it, so any attempts by the Marine Corps to break their record will be null and void."I tell you what, let us get some of the new gear first for a change instead of giving us humvees left over from the War of 1812," exclaimed the obviously annoyed General, he continued, "We don't even get a fair shake at breaking shit and setting records! It's unsatisfactory is what it is!"Luckily nobody was hurt in the accident, which got Major General Eckitt even more upset."If the Marine Corps were to wreck the JLTV, we'd have at least four Marines in the hospital! It'd behoove the Army to stop half-assing their demolition derby and do it right or the Marine Corps will formally request to take the lead on all new equipment deliveries."