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Grilling in Darkness: Secret Society

Diet & nutrition 101
Diet & nutrition 101
April 27, 2017
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All names and genders have been changed to protect the innocent.Nashville, TN- For 25 years a nameless group has met once a year on April, 27 under the cover of darkness for fear of being exposed and flogged in the square of public opinion. A growing sect of vegans that celebrate Prime Rib Day meets to enjoy the king of all cuts of beef in secrecy. The meeting point of Nashville, Tennessee is significant; it is among the top 10 most vegan-friendly cities, and top ten barbecue cities.Group organizer Blaze Clover (alias) explained why they meet in Tennessee. “We always march for the herbs on 4/20 in D.C. or somewhere on the east coast and we stay nicely toasted for a week or so. Once we all start coming down, we head over to the ‘Nash and eat pounds and pounds of Prime Rib. Nash is more pro-beef than where most members live so it’s a natural choice. But, once Prime Rib Day passes, Nash town is super pro-vegan so we can cleanse immediately after. It makes sense.”[caption id="attachment_11321" align="aligncenter" width="640"]

Blaze Clover breaks his silence about prime rib[/caption]Aside from the same city, their location changes every year. The location is disclosed to members via a series of coded numbers written on vegan menus and Jamba Juice locations throughout the city. After deciphering the code a series of text messages on disposable phones reveals the clandestine location and time.

Locations are selected by the group's security and chief, and that person chooses a spot based on defensibility and escape ability of the area. The chief explained;“We have to be careful these days. Our Green friends are starting to ask questions. Several members have been contacted by PETA and ALF (Animal Liberation Front), and those guys aren’t playing games. Someone left a box a soy patties on my doorstep last month and that’s a pretty obvious sign. It was unsettling.”So, careful they are, that they don’t even purchase the meat themselves for fear of being followed. Zim added;“We have a network of people that are sympathetic to the cause we use to get our prime rib. It’s mostly parents or significant others that hope this is the year we stay with the meat and stop being vegan.”

The looming threat of being exposed hasn’t deterred this courageous group from lighting their fires and enjoying meat. Overwhelmingly they prefer charcoal to gas and say it’s for the distinct flavor. Spices are limited to salt and pepper so as not to dominate the flavor of the Rib.“We only do this once a year so we really want to enjoy it and not complicate things. We only buy the best cut so a ton of spice isn’t needed.Cooked to a bloody rare, the Prime Rib is served only with bread, to soak up all the blood and juices left on the plate.“It’s vegetables the other 364 days out of the year, so we leave those at home for this day”, said newcomer Soy Rogers.

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