Edward Snowden Says No on Conspiracy Theories

Well, this is fuckin' bullshit. According to the dude who leaked the information about the massive government surveillance programs did some advanced Google-Fu and searched through the CIA's archives to find out if Chemtrails, Aliens and several other conspiracy theories are true or false, and we've got some bad news for you...sorta.We only say sort because there are those objects that our F/A-18's crossed paths with and we still have NO FUCKING IDEA what those things were. But everything else has been debunked by a guy with not a whole lot to gain from lying and not a whole lot to lose by telling the truth. What's gonna happen next he goes into exile in outer space?Point is guys, we may or may not have aliens, the jury is still out on that one, but some things did get cleared up by the dude who surfed the CIA Google looking for the best porno flicks.For one, Chemtrails aren't fucking real. Let's all take a moment together to say "No fucking shit Sherlock," now moving on, we did indeed land on the moon, so suck our balls USSR and all the other losers who didn't put a dude on another celestial body. Y'all losers aren't even second place, because to be 2nd place, you have to at least land on the moon with a person. Trash ass countries tryin' to flex on us, better step the fuck back and remember who daddy is......sorry about that last little bit of propaganda, sometimes we get carried away.It kind of brings a tear to our eyes that he found no evidence of aliens though. That was for us, the big question, because after binge-watching Ancient Aliens on Hulu for the 15th time, we started to think some of those dudes made really good fucking points...still do...shit...there goes what little credibility we had. Anyways, you can go watch the show, it's up on YouTube...Joe Rogan that is, not Ancient Aliens, although that one is probably up on YouTube too.Epstein didn't kill himself.