Al-Shabaab Attacks U.S. Base in Somalia

Hehe. Oh Al-Shaboob. That's what we call them, buncha Al-Shaboobs. Anyways, these dimwitted bags of herpagonasyphilAIDS decided that attacking a U.S. base that is used to launch drones would be a great way to kick off Fall properly...wait...ok they are still north of the Equator so yeah, kick-off Fall properly. We have football, they have getting smoked by a bunch of dudes at the base. Different cultures man...*shrug*See the funny thing that we know, and that you don't know yet, is that in addition to launching drones...there are also some de oppresso liber shooty bois at that base. You know them cool cats that wear those funny green french hats, yeah THOSE shooty bois. Yeah, they live at this airstrip in Somalia as well...allegedly.Imagine if you will, planning this whole thing out right. They had a suicide vehicle borne IED crash into the gate and detonate, after which they sent floods of "holy warriors" in through the gap. Imagine then, being an Al-Shaboob tool, and expecting to fight off some Air Force nerd wearing glasses and a pocket protector, wielding a protractor or some other nerd shit. But then, running into some bearded Thor lookin mothafucka who looks like he made the Giant of Kandahar call him "Daddy", and get this. Thor-lookin mothafucka has friends.Imagine...the surprise if you will that the militants from Al-Sheboobs got when instead of committing a wholesale slaughter like they thought they'd get, the got turned into various examples of modern art entitled "Man Apart".As of the most recent updates, the U.S. forces are reporting that they've successfully repelled the attackers, while Al-Sheboob is saying the attack is still ongoing. If anything major changes, we'll probably write another piece or update this one, depends on how much coffee we've had, but until then rest well knowing that the boobs were handled by them de oppresso liber shooty bois.