Freedom of Navigation Party

Everyone is invited. First, it was us, the United States, sending our ships through the Strait of Taiwan. Then..the French, yes even the French got involved. And now...EVEN CANADA IS INVOLVED. It's a party now! Two Chinese Sukhoi 30 fighters buzzed the Canadian ship, HMCS Regina, as it made passage through the Strait of Taiwan earlier this week letting them know of Beijing's disapproval.Canada maintains that it meant nothing by the transit, but Beijing is not convinced, and to be frank, we're not convinced either. Canada gets to play that card because most of the time, Canada only really cares about Tim Hortons, maple syrup, all dressed chips, hockey, and poutine. Nobody ever thinks that Canada is escalating. In fact, we're kind of surprised Canada didn't collectively say:

"Sorry, eh."

But, Canada...come on, we know that you know that sailing through the Strait of Taiwan despite it being the most efficient route for your ship to take...it was like a hidden middle finger. You had to know, and you also had to know that you'd get away with it because you can just be like:

"Dudes, we're Canada, we don't try to fight everyone."

...and everyone will pretty much say, "Yeah cool, ok that's right, it's Canada."The Sukhoi jets swept in at an altitude of about one hundred feet and closed within three hundred meters of the Canadian ships. Look...China...some friendly advice from the United States. We don't usually give you friendly advice, but in this case...look don't start shit with Canada. They are metaphorically the worlds little brother who most people like. Literally, everyone likes Canada because even when they piss us off, they're so damn polite about it, we can't help but pat them on the head and say "Good job Canada."So if you pick a fight with Canada, even Russia might join in on attacking you. That's how much we like our metaphorical little brother. Imagine pissing off enough people that even Russia and the United States are like

"Yo, fuk dis China dude, we can go back to being enemies afterward."

Also, you pick a fight with Canada, you'll find out how they operate inside a hockey rink. Don't say we didn't warn you.