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Stabby in Antarctica

Veteran News
Veteran News
October 31, 2018
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Look, we like books. We like reading. Yes, we're nerds, but we've never liked a book so much that we decided to get stabby with someone for ruining the end of a said book. We've gotten stabby for other reasons, like our Hot Pocket burning the inside of our mouths despite letting it cool for 15 minutes after taking it out of the microwave or someone telling us it was Bazooka Joe bubble Gum instead of Bubble Yum, but never over a book.In Antarctica, where we're assuming they don't get the latest episode of "This Is Us" a Russian scientist by the name of Sergey Savitsky had been using the downtime in the cold barren wasteland to catch up on his reading. Friggin Russians man. His compatriot, Oleg Beloguzov another professional scientist and welder, decided to pass his time by ruining the endings to all of the books that Sergey was reading. So...it's kick of a dick move, but...did it really warrant a stabbing?In a fit of rage, Sergey acquired a kitchen knife, we're assuming from the kitchen and plunged it into Oleg's chest. Yeah, his chest, not like his leg or arm or even jesting saying like"Hey Oleg quit dicking around on the books man, it's getting old."No, Sergey went straight for the knife and straight for the chest, after which he told authorities, he didn't intend to kill Oleg. Really? Really? You didn't intend to kill the guy who you stabbed in the chest? We could get it if you like went for his leg or his arm, but stabbing a dude in the chest is usually a pretty good indicator you wanted to kill him (cue the barracks lawyers saying something dumb like "Actually depending on blah blah blah", being annoying).Antarctica is a weird place and the isolation makes people do weird things.

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