Belt-Fed Weapon Joy: Embracing the Rumble

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls of all enlistment ages, we have the pleasure today of telling you about the latest and greatest thing to bring us joy. Of course, as many of you know, as do all of us here that happiness comes via a belt fed weapon. There is nothing quite like sustainable automatic fire to keep the enemies heads down and the blood flow to our nether regions up. (hopefully) Replacing the M249 Squad Automatic Weapon (above) will be the Next Generation Squad Automatic Rifle (NGSAR).This naughty gal will be laying the hate and discontent all the way out to 2000 feet or roughly six hundred and sixty-six yards (there were some decimals in there, but we wanted to leave it at this nice whole number). What makes this piece of machinery so bombastic and ostentatious (in a good way) is the chamber pressure equivalent to that of a main battle tanks cannon. Between 60 to 80 kilopounds per square inch will be sending forth either a 6.5mm or 6.8mm projectile full of fun and adventure for those who would do America harm. By fun and adventure, we mean a one-way ticket to the grave!Bing bang, boom baby!Also, this heavy hitter is making other strides as well, coming in 5 pounds lighter than it's predecessor the Squad Automatic Weapon. Lean and mean with a sustained rate of fire around 600 round per minute and capable of hitting three round bursts for fifteen minutes without malfunction or needing to change a hot ass barrel.What more could you want from a new light machine gun for our troops? It hits harder, being able to penetrate advanced body armor at that 2000 feet range, it's lighter making the grunts happier and the rounds hit harder making the bad guys stay dead. We submit that you could not possibly ask more of a weapon without it being straight out of Star Wars (fingers crossed).