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When a Professor Gets It Wrong

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December 19, 2018
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Everyone slow clap, it's that good and we haven't even told you about it yet. A professor in Sweden was having none of ISIS's shit. One of her students was under duress from the terrorist group whilst studying in Iraq. Charlotta Turner received a message from one of her students detailing that his research would most likely not be completed as a result of threats from the terror group ISIS, who had made several threats towards his life.Firas Jumaah sent the text message to his professor, and she was justifiably outraged stating that

"What was happening was completely unacceptable. I got so angry that IS was pushing itself into our world, exposing my doctoral student and his family to this, and disrupting the research."

So, like any good professor would do, Charlotta hired some hoppin' poppin', shootin' lootin', pink mist making bearded dudes (actually we're not sure if they were bearded, but you can safely assume they are, because duh, all mercs have really rad, photogenic beards)Firas' situation was extremely dire, more so than he let on. He was in a town that was legitimately surrounded by ISIS and was being shelled daily. Also...Firas was a part of the Yazidi. A group that ISIS was fond of torturing and killing. Not a great situation to be in!Within a few days, the university had four mercs armed to the teeth, roll up in land cruisers like they owned the place, and extract Firas.It is the type of story that seems to have been ripped straight from Tom Clancy, except this was real. We're not entirely sure after all our visits to the dean's office that our university would have done the same for us. But who knows, maybe they really did like us and they were just trying to steer our...youthful exuberance in a more productive direction. Either way, we want to be on a university-sponsored mercenary team.

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