Why It's Great to Be a Grunt

It's the "03rd" month of the year. Therefore it's Marine Corps Infantry month or Grunt Month (if you're Army infantry, we'll share because you do the same things, but your month is like in November because like 11 series right?) In honor of this great month and all that it represents, we'd like to share with you the numerous reasons that it is great to be a grunt. If you're not a grunt, that's ok, just appreciate us for the mild savants that we are.Normally the life of the grunt sucks total donkey balls like in that one show we saw in Tijuana that one time...it's not as cool as you think it'll be. But other times, it's like throwing a piss bottle at a dude you know is an insurgent right before you flexicuff his ass and send him to Abu Ghraib for some extra personal attention and TLC. You have this weird sense of satisfaction even in the shittiest of circumstances.The arrogance of the grunt, as we wrote about a week or so ago is one of the reasons it's great to be a grunt. Chicks dig self-confidence and grunts often have more than we actually rate, but it doesn't matter, even if you're ugly, still had sex.We get to blow shit up with heavy weapons all the time. If you're not in the infantry or combat arms, your job training is most likely to include heaping shitload of Death by Powerpoint. Which is worse than having your dangle dragged through broken glass and then wackin' it using Tobasco sauce as lube. Not a good day my brother! Whereas our training as grunts, we get to blow shit up with rockets, grenades, heavy machine guns, anti-tank missiles, and high explosives. If you've ever been to a demo range when there was an ammo dump, you know what we're talking about. We sent a f***in oil drum into low Earth orbit.People don't expect much from you as they assume you're dumb. They just assume you're there to kill and usually try not to bother you with stupid shit that other jobs in the military have. "I'm just a dumb grunt man I don't know how to fix that radio/drive train/weapon we broke/person we broke." Take your pick from that list, but the truth is, most people only want you around when there is someone to kill, which means almost nobody but our own command cares what we do in garrison. That translates to more nap time and playing Call of Duty in the barracks room...well we guess it'd be PUBG now, but back in our day, it was Call of Duty: Modern Warfare.Lastly, there is a certain pride in the semi-ghetto life you lead. If you've ever been on a grunt patrol base or small combat outpost, we jerry-rig the ever living dog shit out of every material we can, just to create a mild creature comfort (water bottles and 550 cord attached to the door of your hooch means an autoclosing door). Grunts are creative and roll ghetto fabulous wherever they go.