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Saber Rattling Is Lame

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September 16, 2019
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While it was useful to a degree (or so we've been told), saber-rattling is fucking lame. You can all hate us for saying it if you like, but it is the foreign policy equivalent of the leadup to a schoolyard brawl, where two children caw at each other with bravado with an imagination so bold that George Lucas and Tolkien combined are put to shame. We have instead, a different solution. Don't talk about it, be about it.Instead of telling whoever did the thing to the guy who we're mad at, that we're about to whip his ass, just...whip his ass. Or her ass. We don't know how countries are identifying themselves this year, so we're not sure if he or she. Or don't. It's really quite simple.It always happens like this though. We talk super tough to whoever is acting a fool, and then they say something and then we say something back and then when nothing happens, we look like morons. Easy foreign policy decision right here and now. Or if we do actually do something, we telegraph it for weeks in advance letting everyone know when and where it'll happen.

"What a great military strategy!!" - Nobody ever

If it warrants doing something, do something. If it doesn't warrant doing something, don't do anything. Don't talk about it, don't give anyone a verbal warning. It's not like people don't know who we are and what we're capable of as a nation. Nobody is sitting around going;

"Did you hear about those guys the United States? They've got like this...super badass military and they will fucking use it." -Imaginary Nation That Has Never Interacted With The United States

Everyone knows who we are. Everyone knows that the truth about whatever event takes place will eventually get found out by every single intelligence agency on the planet. So again, instead of telling the world we're ready to fight and that we're just the bee's knees, just ya know...fight. Again, don't talk about it, be about it.If we're going to use military force, get congressional approval, and then launch the attack. Those are the only talks that should be happening.

President X: A attacked B, so we've got to militarily hit A.Congress X: Why?President X: Because B is a vital ally and A is a bunch of filthy Commies.Congress X: Fair enough, send em to the stone age.President X: Dope.

Stop threatening people and either destroy them or leave them be. Too much hype without a significant outcome is fucking boring, especially after the like 204378347th time we've done it. Based on the world we're living in today, we need some significant outcomes to actually occupy our attention. Nobody (well, someone will, but large majority won't give a fuck) is going to give a shit in two weeks if nothing comes of any threats the United States makes.

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