Planning the ultimate bachelor party can be as thrilling as the first trip to the Vegas strip or as disappointing as a burning sensation after midnight. Fear not, grooms and groomsmen; here is your cheat sheet to the top (and bottom) three bachelor party ideas that'll either make you a legend among your friends or have you dodging texts until the wedding.
Mixed Idea – Vegas!
When in doubt, just remember what happens in Vegas usually doesn’t stay in Vegas (especially if you ‘accidentally’ marry someone). Gambling, nightclubs, pool parties, and shows; Sin City is the natural selection of bachelor parties. It's got layers of fun, it’s a little messy, and nobody leaves hungry. Just remember to keep a close eye on both the wedding ring and the roulette wheel. This option is labeled “Mixed” because while you can go to a show, drive a tank, or find out what truffle mac and cheese tastes like, there are some options available frowned on by both your future partner and law enforcement. Choose wisely.
Good Idea - Brewery / Distillery Tour Road Trip
Gather the troops, rent a van (preferably with a duty driver), and hit up multiple breweries. Think of it as a pilgrimage for lovers of inebriating concoctions. You'll learn about production, sample a variety of wares, and still get home in time to Google "what does IPA stand for" and deciding if someone that into pilsners should really be in your wedding party. Matching tour t-shirts make for excellent photos and even better makeshift pillow covers when you need to crash at a friend's place. This option is a good idea because it doesn’t set you up to fail the way a strip club would and allows for all the fun of drinking with your mates without destroying your place (which your future wife might appreciate.)
Bad Idea - The "Surprise" Paintball Ambush
The groom thinks he’s going to a quiet brunch, but instead, he’s met with a barrage of paintballs. Sounds like a blast, until you remember that Jim has some PTSD and a talent for close combat. If you think starting the wedding week with bruises and welts sounds like a good idea, you might just be out of your mind, (especially if there isn’t proof where that welt on your neck came from) but if this is really something you want to do, all participants should be informed and consenting. Last we checked, melee kills aren’t authorized in paintball.
(Mostly) Good Idea - An Outdoor Adventure
Whether it’s white-water rafting, skydiving, or just camping in the wild, getting some adrenaline pumping is a surefire way to bond with the boys before you tie the knot. It's all fun and games until someone suggests bear wrestling; that person may not be your friend, do not do that. Remember, the goal is to make it to the wedding in one piece and with all your limbs intact. Much like the previous idea, precious little cleanup and a reduced chance of something illegal happening plant this in the good idea camp. Although some of the bridesmaids might find fresh bear fight scars on the groomsmen hot...
Sad Idea - Medieval Times Dinner & Tournament
Nothing says "last night of freedom" like eating with your hands and watching jousting in a dimly lit arena. Based on the reasons listed for other ideas, this one seems ideal; its not a house of ill repute, chances of crime are low, the place can be fun… But for a bachelor party it just feels like mom wouldn’t let your friends come over for your birthday, so everyone went to the roller rink again. Not to mention that it’s all fun and games until someone from your group gets too inspired and challenges a knight to a duel. Spoiler: the knight always wins, and you end up with a bill for dry-cleaning chainmail.
Horrible Idea - The Infamous "Let's Just Wing It" Plan
This is when the best man thinks he can just "go with the flow" and everything will work out. Plot twist, this not only rarely works out for a good night, but also dramatically increases the likelihood of ending up in a Guatemalan prison for something you definitely did that wasn’t altogether funny. The other possibility can be almost worse; getting to the location only to sit around trying to figure out what to do the night of, no reservations, no plans, expensive drinks at the below average hotel bar. Busted or boring shouldn’t be your only available options.
So, whether you opt for a classic hit like Vegas or dare to risk it all with an impromptu Taco Bell feast (some of them are bars, don’t come for me), choosing the right bachelor party idea can make all the difference. Remember, a great bachelor party doesn’t just celebrate the groom's last day of singledom, it sets the bar for all weddings henceforth. Make sure the soon to be happy husband has their fun, but wakes up the next day alive, un-detained, and uncompromised.