High Expectations: Visiting the World's Largest Dispensary

Many troops fantasize about using their DD214 to roll their first post-service joint. Although this is inadvisable for several reasons, many legal options are available for those who want to partake in some recreational form of ganja-therapy. 

One of the ways you might begin this journey of self discovery, (hypothetically speaking of course) may be to visit the “World's Largest Dispensary.” Located in Las Vegas, Nevada, Planet 13 is a tourist attraction that is definitely worth the visit.

I parked my rented corvette and walked past a group of older men waiting for their Uber. I assume they were veterans or first responders by the amount of times I heard them say “f*ck” in the short time it took me to walk by them, but that’s besides the point.

Once I got inside, the check in desk had me sign in, and asked for my I.D. card (under 21 not permitted). The inside was massive. It had a museum-like aspect, with intilations for photos, and many signs to read. They also had a cafe, huge digital displays and artwork throughout.

When you go, don’t make the mistake that I made. Which was to wander around looking at everything before taking a number to be helped by a budtender. After getting in the queue, take a walk through the show floor. It has a mind-boggling selection of recreational cannabis flowers, pre-rolls, vapes, concentrates, edibles, and smoking accessories. They had everything from THC infused barbeque rubs, to intricately designed glassware, and plenty of merchandise. 

All of the products had labels detailing what percentages of what aspect they contain. This is quite helpful for those looking for a specific THC to CBD ratio they prefer. If you don’t have a lot of knowledge in that area, the staff will be happy to guide you towards something they recommend. Experiences may differ, but my budtender seemed very knowledgeable, if you get my drift…

You can google the strains, and growers, to see reviews. You might feel curious if the "Hasta Mañana" strain provides an energizing mind high, or if it will give you a mellow body high with a side of couch lock.

The prices were far higher than I remember… my… friends… paying in highschool, but times change and the THC content in these flowers were insane. Not to mention the industry is regulated and growers have their reputation to uphold, versus a dude you meet outside a gas station named “lil stanky” who ends up robbing you half the time. Again, not that I would know.

Right as I made my purchase, a fleet of drones flew out over the floor and performed a dazzling aerial routine. When the formation of drones maneuvered into what appeared to be the shape of a pot leaf, I saw the guy next to me hold up the smoothie he got from the cafe and nod at it with approval with an extremely impressed look on his face. 

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‍Remember, follow all laws and consult your physician before making any changes to your current plan of health. Don’t drive under the influence, and stay hydrated. Also, do not mix with alcohol or other drugs, and take it slow to test your tolerance. Finally, be in a good headspace, relax, and block your ex. You don’t need all that jazz.